OVER 50 AND STILL SINGLE

Dating? At your age? Don’t makeit sound like a disease you’re too old to get! Men and women in their fifties, sixties and even seventies date plenty, whether just for fun or to meeta significant other. Granted, though, it can seem like a daunting prospect if you’ve been out of the game for awhile and are feeling a little rusty. So we’ve tackled the most common issues baby boomers are likely to confront in today’s singles scene. Read on for some very welcome advice. Q: How can I tell if I’m ready to date after a divorce or the death of a spouse? A: When the idea of getting to know a new person feels like agood one — something you’d enjoy as opposed to something friends, family or society at large is pressuring you to do. “If thoughts of dating start with ‘I want’ rather than ‘I should,’ consider this a signal that you're ready to test the waters,” says Leah Klungness, Ph.D., a New York-based psychologist and coauthor of The Complete Single Mother - Reassuring Answers To Your Most Challenging Concerns. Maybe you’ve begun to notice more attractive people out there or have actually caught yourself (gasp!) flirting — two strong signs. And if you’ve started “just looking” at single friends-of-friends online, you’re definitely getting there. Related: The single best decade for dating is... Q: Should I fudge my age to seem more attractive to dating prospects? A: No way, that is definitely a bad idea. “Honesty is the best policy if you care about your long-term credibility,” says Cathy Hamilton , author of The Girlfriends’ Bible on Dating, Mating, and Other Matters of the Flesh . If the person you’redating turns out to be a good fit, you’d be living a lie, or would have to confess your deception eventually. Besides, since when does your age have anything to do with your attractiveness? “Real connection comes from mutual interests and passions, which often stem from shared recollections and similar world views,” asserts Klungness. Q:What are the best places to meet people I’d click with for dating? I’m soover the bar scene. A: Hamilton’s list of suggestions is literally A to Z, from an art gallery to the zoo (and everything in between). “Go to real estate open houses, lectures at the local university, the pool in your apartment complex, group golf or tennis lessons,” Hamilton says. “Start up a conversationover the olive bar at a health food market.” The point is to try new things that interest you but also be open to opportunities in your everyday activities. “Take a bit of extra time to look your best when you go out,” says Klungness. “This will give you the added boost of confidence you may need to approach someone of interest.” Related: Surprising benefits of dating after 50 Q: What’s appropriate when it comes to asking someone out? How long do you have to know someone before you ask him/her for a date? A: Try not to impose rules or limits and just go with your gut. If you encounter someone interesting and the conversation’s flowing at a one-time-only event like a party or a gallery opening, go for it if it feels natural. If you’re likely to see this person again — at a class, say— wait it out a bit if that feels right. With online dating and social media sites, you have the luxury of being able to email or direct message each other first, then segue into a phone conversation and ultimately a face-to-face meeting. No rush, but don’t wait forever, either. Also remember that a date doesn’t have to be a formal, four-houraffair — getting together casually during the day is a great first date, so what could be easier than saying, “Want to grab coffee next week?” Q: I feel foolish approaching someone younger — how do I let someone know I’m interested? A: “The best approach, regardless of the age difference, is to smile, beyourself, and look for common ground,” says Klungness. Age discrepancies mean very little nowadays — relationships with disparities of a decade or more have been known to thrive. Of course, if the idea of asking out a much younger (or older) person makes you uneasy, don’t force yourself. “If you’rereally hesitant to approach a younger person, you might be the one with the issues,” points out Hamilton. “Consider staying in your age bracket until you resolve them.” Related: The reality of datinga younger man Q: After my long-term relationship, I’m just looking for fun, nothing serious. How upfront should I be about this on my date? A: Let your behavior make your intentions clear. “As long as your actions and words areconsistent with fun — no angling for a home-cooked meal, no pleading for help with household repairs — there’s no reason to make a big point of proclaiming time together as‘no strings attached,’” says Klungness. Relationships are fluid, and you may change your mind about what you wantas things progress. However, if your date makes it clear thathe or she is looking to settle down and at the moment you’re not, let him or her knowso as not to lead anyone on.